Change Past, Change Future
by Ellykiksi
Summary: Sawyer shouted over to the baffled woman. “I...I can’t.” she whispered with a frown. “Juliet please … please don’t leave me again. I can’t leave you again.” .... .
1. Chapter 1

White light flooded everything around them and they tried to save their eyes from the light with their hands. "What the…"Jack mumbled. Kate held Sawyer close, he's in a deep state of shock and didn't notice anything of what was happening. Everything around them just disappeared and they must've passed out, cause none of them could remember… .

Jack opened his eyes. He saw blue sky and heard birds singing somewhere in the jungle. He immediately sat up and looked around. They were still there? What happened? Where was Kate, Sawyer and the others? Why weren't they somewhere on the airport in Los Angeles like they should be?

There were much more questions spinning around in his head that for now stayed unacknowledged so he stood up and ran through the bushes until he reached the beach. "Kate!?" he called out but he didn't get an answer. He was all alone standing there still in his blood soaked darma jumpsuit. Then he saw something in the water near a rock. It was obviously Kate's brown curles. "Kate." He shouted worried and he ran as fast he could into the sea to pull her out of the water before she drowned. How had she been out there? Jack just hoped she'd be still alive.

As he reached her he grabbed her by her waist and scooped her up into his arms. "Kate can you hear me?" he asked but she didn't respond. Jack layed her on the sand and knealed over her, searching for a pulse. A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he finally found one. So she hadn't been under water that long. Suddenly Kate began coughing as Jack blew air into her lungs. She spid some water and then looked confused around her, like he did before. "Jack!? What..why?.." she began. "I don't know" Jack simply said facing the jungle in front of him. "I didn't expect that to happen but it seems like we're trapped here. Question is_ where_ we are!" Jack tried to explain. Kate sat up. "Well I think we already know where we are." She said confused. Did that smash on his head damage anything?! "No that's not what I was talking about." Kate put her head to the side, thinking. "I was talking about the time… . I'm not so sure about still being in the 70's!" Now Kate understood. "We're not supposed to be here. What happened? She asked. "I don't know any more than you do." Jack said. "The bomb never detonated, right?" she continued ignoring his conclusion. "I don't know…I don't remember. There was that bright white light and then I must've passed out." Kate nodded. "We need to find Sawyer." She aproubtly said and Jack nodded. "Maybe he's still at the swan."


	2. Chapter 2

"Juliet! "Sawyer screamed ...he opened his eyes and he lay on a clearing in the middle of the jungle.

He jumped to his feet a little out of breath and looked around. "Where...? What..?!" the horrible pictures passed infront of his eyes again. _**I can't. I can't!**_

And he could still hear her voice in his head. _**I love you so much**_! Sawyer thought maybe this all was just a bad dream but why would he lay here all by hisself in the middel of nowhere?

Then he heard voices coming from the bushes and they were coming closer. "Sawyer?" Kate shouted reliefed as she saw him standing there still looking like hell.

"You okay?"Jack asked him worried and looked at his wounds. "Can somebody please tell me what's happenin' here?" Sawyer said confused holding his aching head.

"Saw the white light?" Kate asked and Sawyer nodded. "Yeah, well I got a huge headache and then I passed out. That's all we can tell you for now" Jack explained.

"Wait wait stop...where is the swan? where is everything?" Sawyer asked. They just noticed that they were exactly on the same spot they fought with the people from the darma initiative and lost juliet.

"Oh no no no no. You ain't gonna tell me we're back.. ." he began. "What do you mean?"Kate asked. "That white light wasnt the bomb detonating. I think we traveled again."

"So it's like I told you anyways. You can't change the past. Change past, change future! And now Juliet died because of the two of you." Sawyer said angrily. Jack wanted to cut in on him but not even one single word escaped his lips.

"I could've gone after her ...maybe I could've saved her and you held me from doin'it." he began shouting even louder. "Sawyer she's dead. She's gone okay. There is nothing you could've done."Kate shot back. Jack shook his head. "That's insane. Do you really think she'd have been still alive after that fall? I´m a doctor Sawyer, I know what I'm talking about."Jack was annoyed and Sawyer visibly pissed. "The Fuck you are! Nothing's impossible. At least here." Jack just shook his head again and before Sawyer could punch him right into his face Kate jumped between them and kept them apart. "Stop. Guys it's enough. We're acting like kids. Please, just stop it." Both shot the other an angry look and they were somehow to stubborn to get themselfs together. "We all have to work together now. There is still no sign of Hurley, Jin or Miles. We gotta find them."

**Okay Guys that's chapter 2. What could happen next. Feel free to tell me your ideas or wishes for the next chapter.... **

**To be continued by request.**

**PS: To all the Sulieteers; Be patient ;o)**


	3. Chapter 3

…"Y'know what? I ain't going with you anywhere." Sawyer said stubborn as they already had been walking for a while. He hadn't been talking to them the whole time and he was missing Juliet more and more every minute that passed. "That's crazy we don't even know where we're goin'?" Sawyer continued. Jack and Kate kept on walking, ignoring him. Sawyer sighed following them, shaking his head slightly. "So you're not talkin' to me anymore now?" he asked, even if he already knew the answer. "Fine."

Jack and Kate exchanged irritated looks and also skook there heads, keeping on walking through the bushes. Sawyer was still behind them. Actually he didn't know why he was after all. Maybe because he had no clue what to do or where to go. He felt numb and empty. Sometimes he turned just to check if she was behind them. Walking behind them when they made those kinda trips. But when he did he just saw a lot of plants, different trees and bushes.

"You okay. "Jack asked Kate after she'd been holding her head. Sweat was running down her forehead and she looked pale like death. "Yeah, it's just hot." She tried to calm him but he gave her another serious worried look. Like he didn't trust her. "I think we should make a break. Here." Jack gave a bottle of water to her; he still got in his backpack that lay next to him as he woke up in the jungle earlier. Kate took it with a light smile. "Thanks." Jack only nodded and faked a smile. He didn't feel like smiling at the moment. Somehow Jack felt guilty. Guilty for even trying to change anything. To change their past, their future….

Even for Juliet's death, she could be still alive if he wouldn't have been that certain about the whole situation. It was just bitter sweet irony. She sealed her fate by saying "Live together, die alone!" When they had asked her to fight one last time. Cause in the end she died in the hatch by herself, all alone. Without a Sawyer, without the man she really seemed to love. Without him, Jack that wasn't caring much about her in the end. That had been her friend for a long time untill they ruined everything by coming back to the island. But in the back of his head Jack could still remember her words 3 years ago. "_**And he knows how I feel about you**_."

It hurt him to know that she now died here on that island, in her prison she once came full of hope, full of live, and full of positive energy that turned to sadness and loneliness, till she met him, till she met especially Sawyer. If there was any person that deserved it more to leave the island than it was definitely Juliet. She hadn't seen her sister in years and she'd never been able to meet her nephew Julian. So why couldn't this all just have a happy ending? Because life was cruel?! While Jack was thrown back to reality as he heard Sawyer and Kate fighting.

"Shut up." She shouted angrily. "Just shut up. You've been getting on my nerves for about 2 hours now." Sawyer was totally furious. "Well yeah whose fault is that? I'm not Mr. I'm- blowin'- up – the – island – and – ruin – everybody's - live, over there!" He pointed out to Jack.

Jack on the other side ignored him instead of starting a fight again. Kate stepped closer to Sawyer looking up to him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry okay? but I gotta tell you this now. She's gone and you need to get over it. It's not the right time to drown in self-pity, James." She said angrily. "Stop callin' me like that…. That James you're talkin' to died a few hours ago. I'm gettin' on your nerves? Get us off the island and we've never talk to each other again. You wanna make a break? Okay let's do a break. But bring me home, you owe me that favour!" Kate had never seen him like that. He was almost begging them to get him off the island. To forget all this, just to stop the pain that came from his heart. To stop the numbness. The never ending thoughts and also desire to kill himself were unbearable. Nor Jack or Kate was responding to this, they just nodded and set up their camp for the night. They were Silent for the rest of the day, only Kate and Jack were whispering from time to time.

That night James woke up drenched in sweat. He was out of breath and his heart was pounding heavily. For a few seconds he watched the night sky steadying his breath, then set up slowly looking right into Kate's eyes that were sparkling in the light of the fire lightly. She was lying on the ground starring at him expressionless. "Bad dream?" she asked quietly. Sawyer nodded. "Mhm...I know how you feel…" Sawyer wanted to cut in on this but she didn't even give him the chance to. "I-I-I know you don't wanna hear it right now but I'm truly sorry for everything. If I'd just got that stupid chains off of her. I almost got her but I couldn't reach her. Believe me I so badly wanted to get her out there, but I…." Sawyer brought a hand to the air, silencing her. "You tried." He said calmly. "Yeah but…." And again he cut in on her. "Listen, Freckles. I was thinkin'! And I wanna apologise." Sawyer began. Kate gave him a disbelieving look. "Apologise? You?" Kate smirked weakly trying not to laugh about him. Cause this was seriously not the right time to make jokes yet. "Yes, Kate. You tried and I appreciate it. You couldn't have done better than you already did." Kate gave him and confused look lost in her thoughts. She leaned on her arm and watched him. His eyes were fixed on the ground and meant to hear him say "Thanks".

"How're you feeling about it now?" she asked him even if she knew it was a total stupid and superfluous question. Sawyer looked at her but seemed to look trough her like she was glass. "I-I don't know. Her face is…she's still there right in front of my eyes. I can still hear her voice in my head; smell that sweet scent of her hair. Anyhow she's gone. Something's missin'." Kate gave him an understanding compassionate look. "Is that why you said James died a few hours ago?" Sawyer nodded. "I'm so sorry." She swore and sat up. "I-I just can't believe I ain't gonna see her again." Kate was wondering, wondering why he would open up to her now. It must've been really hard for him to let it all out now. "I'd seriously love to kick Farraday's ass." He laughed to himself swallowing a sob that stuck in his throat. Kate touched his arm lightly, comforting him a little. Sawyer looked down to his arm and then back into her eyes. A part of him wanted to push her away from him as far as he could and the other one was glad she was with him, comforting him that moment. "She made me a better person. I'm nothin' without her." Kate frowned listening to every single word he was saying. She felt dirty and most of all guilty. "I could say all of this was just a big lie. We were livin' a lie in Dharma Ville, but to be honest she was the only thing I wasn't lying about. She's my one true thing." A single Tear escaped his eyes and fell to the ground. Kate wanted to say something but all she could do was squeezing his hand tightly. She couldn't stand seeing him like that. That wasn't the man she once knew. He was a broken man now just like Jack and she kinda felt guilty, because it was part of her fault. Wasn't it? "I…I'm sorry. I've seen how much you loved her and…we shouldn't have come back. I don't know what else to say except that I'm truly sorry." She admitted. Sawyer was sobbing like a child now. "I know." Kate padded his shoulder and tears came to her eyes seeing him like that, while Jack was peacefully snoring like nothing ever happened. "I wanted to ask her if she'd be my wife once we were back. Maybe have a kid. Worst part is she so badly wanted off the island and in the end she died to bring us back." It kinda hurt Kate to hear all this, cause she still felt something for Sawyer but that made her feel so bad. Hard to handle. Sawyer was still sobbing quietly. "I should've died down there not her!" Kate shook her head and hugged him, holding him close. Sawyer didn't move, he didn't even try to escape her grasp, cause actually it was just about comforting, nothing more. He was listening to her heartbeat trying to calm himself down not caring about the fact that he was crying like a 7 year old, like he did when his parents died. "Don't you say that! You know she wouldn't want you to be unhappy and if you died instead of her she were the one in pain now. Would you like that?" she asked him softly stroking his dark blond hair. "Ya right. Thank you." He truthfully said breaking their closeness. "For what." Kate put some of her brown curly strands behind her ear and watched the flames dancing. "For just being here, Freckles." A warm smile came to his face, warm but weak and his eyes told Kate he just wanted to lighten the mood. Kate smiled a little still starring at him with that compassionate look and then she looked to the sky, sighing softly. "Rest a little, you gonna need it." He nodded, she was right. But he didn't feel like sleeping and without his Juliet was it gonna be a rough night. Thinking about her was even worse. I didn't make it easier to get some sleep. Her screams haunted him. "I love you back Juliet." He whispered to himself when he drifted back off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When he woke up it was still dark and he needed a few minutes to get everything straight. To Remember. And then he noticed himself thinking about her blue eyes again, that beautiful eyes and her smile, that unique smile. It hurt his soul. The fire had been gone off long ago, it was totally dark around him. The moon and the stars were the only source of light that made it possible to still see his own hands in front of his eyes. He heard how branches were cracking under soft footsteps coming closer. "Doc, you awake?" Sawyer whispered into the dark. Silence, nobody answered. Another crack somewhere very close. "Kate?" he asked a little louder now. Still no answer. Sawyer sat up. Where was everybody? Did they leave him behind? No, why would they? Again his head was spinning in cause of all the stuff that went around in there. "That ain't funny." Sawyer called out. Suddenly a hand covered his mouth and he would've pushed it away if there wasn't that familiar voice whispering into his left ear to shush him. "Shh…keep your mouth shut and nobody gets hurt." The voice whispered dangerously and held something to his back. Maybe a gun or something else, he couldn't quite indificate. Sawyer freed himself from the woman's grasp and as he did so the first thing he remembered was him falling to the ground again. He could hardly move and he got muscle spasms all over his body. Sawyer was breathing heavily, whimpered in cause of the pain, which went through every single vain, like a little dog. Angrily he looked up to the person that just tazered him. And what he saw left him speechless and stopped fighting against the pain immediately. "Isabelle!" he wheezed. The woman looked confused down to him. "I don't think we've met yet, James. But well on this way I don't have to introduce myself." She said grinning mischievous. "Where are they, what have you done to'em?" Sawyer growled trough his teeth still ringing with his own body. "Be sure they're in good hands. Tom, Danny. You're gonna help me with this or what?" she called out and Tom and Danny came out of a nearby bush. Danny? Wasn't he dead? Juliet had killed him in front of there eyes so why was he still alive. Something was wrong! Danny grabbed him on his collar and put him back to his feet again, to punch him square into his face and knocked him out. "Keep an eye on him, Danny. I don't know what it is about this guy but it makes me feel uncomfortable." Isabelle said and looked down to Sawyer that lay there unconscious, his nose slightly bleeding. "What ever you say, Boss". Danny grinned dangerously and gave Tom a look. "I'm gonna take care of the girl then." Isabelle nodded. "Good, what about the other guy?" Danny asked. "We gonna take them back to the hydra. Put the guy into one of the cages and the Doctor?!... Put him into the aquarium. She can take care of him then." Isabelle ordered. Danny looked a little confused. "Her? Why her? She's never gonna make him trust her!" Danny said shaking his head. "Why not, Pickett? I think Ben knows what he's doing." Tom said carrying Kate's limp body over is right shoulder…. .


	5. Chapter 5

A familiar feeling overcame Jack as he opened his eyes and laid in a "room" he new oh so well. He saw chains hanging from the ceiling and he remembered himself pulling at them screaming for his friends. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Not that again, he thought to himself and took the adhesive tape off that stuck on his left arm. The door on the other side of the glass wall in front of him swung open and somebody came in. Quietly stepping closer to the glass wall. Jack looked up, totally speechless. It was like a déjà vu. Her stepping in, in that cute pink blouse. With that long blond straightened hair and that expressionless face. He mustered the person on the other side carefully. And he noticed immediately that this wasn't the woman they lost about a day ago. The way she acted, the way she looked at him just everything told him that she had not the faintest idea who he was. Okay she read his file but what does that say?! "Hey Jack…I'm..." she began but Jack cut in on her with and thoughtful look on his face.

"I know who you are. _Juliet!" _Jack said, emphasising her name slightly.

Jack could sense Juliet felt quiet confused but she put on that poker face she always used to give him at the beginning. Anyways, Jack was confused as well. Why was she here? She died! Was he dead maybe? Where they all? So what was it then…. Heaven? Unfortunately not.

Well, he had another image of heaven actually. God this is hell.

Juliet didn't know who he was, they were back in the past and there friends were somewhere maybe not even in the same time. Could it get any worse?

"How'd you know my…" She seemed to perforate him with her looks, with those bright blue eyes of hers.

"Long story. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Jack told her smiling weakly.

"You should better eat and drink something. The drugs we gave you got a mean side effect that can lead to hallucinations in cause of dehydration." Jack smirked, he kinda heard that before.

"I don't want your food." He thought maybe it was better to play the game and make them all believe he wouldn't know anything about what they were doing or what there plan was. So he'd get out of here as soon as he could.

"But look at it it's such a delicious…." she began pointing at the plate with the grilled cheese sandwich with toothpicks stuck in it she held in her hand.

"You can have it. I'm not hungry, anyways. Just tell me where my friends are. "Jack angry said cutting her off again. It wasn't the right time for small talk. Juliet put the plate on a nearby table and stepped then closer to the glass wall.

"Don't worry about them, they're in good hands." She tried to calm him a little bit. Jack jumped off the table and he leaned with both his hands against the glass wall in front of him now looking her straight in the eyes.

"I need to talk to Kate. Please, Juliet." He begged now starring deeply into her eyes.

"Can't do that, Jack. I'm sorry." she apologised with a flicker of mercy. She knew how it felt to get held from seeing the people you love.

"Juliet, please. Please let me out. And if you do I swear I'll get you out of here and this time I'll bring you home. I promise. I'm your friend!"

Maybe she still got memories somewhere deep down. Or maybe she would use him once again so she could escape the island like she had tried before. And he so hoped she would go for it. Jack was wondering what was on her mind right now, but her face told him nothing. He didn't even get a hint, not a tiny little spark. But he knew she was thinking for a little while. Juliet was wondering. Something about that man seemed so familiar. As if shed known him her whole life. So she laid her head to the side and gave him a warm but worried smile.

"Maybe you're hungrier than you think you are." She replied then. And Jack sighed, shaking his head. Giving it up. "I said, I'm not hungry." He mumbled.

"Fine. Don't make me force you to, Jack." Juliet rolled her eyes up to him, letting him know how serious she was about it. Then went back to the table reached for the plate and went back to the door. With ostentation she bit in a half of the sandwich and left the aquarium then. Leaving him alone again, Jack hit the glass wall with one of his fists. "Fuck" he called out and did it over and over again. He had to change his strategy. But how was he going to make her trust him. Maybe the best thing was if he just played along with them. That meant to get through all of this toture again but he had nothing to lose, if everything went the way he hoped. There was just one problem. "Sawyer." Jack rolled his eyes and hit the glass wall once again.


	6. Chapter 6

"Sawyer!" somebody called out over and over again. When he realised that he wasn't dreaming he opened his eyes and saw blue eyes looking at him.

"Juliet?" he asked still a little sleepy. His head was aching and the picture in front of his eyes was blurry.

"It's me stupid!" Kate's nerved voice reverberated in his head.

"Kate? Ugh.... Where are we?" his voice was rough and barely over a whisper.

"Could you stop mumbling and get up. We've gotta problem."

Sawyer sat up quickly rubbing his eyes. He remembered the last night and now everything was coming back to him. He got tazered…by Isabel.

"Mhm... Nice dress, Freckles." He joked; as he noticed she was now wearing one and he strangely had the feeling he had seen it before. Kate gave him a well serious look; at least she tried to be serious. "Uh-uh, don't say anything. Let me guess. We're back in 2007 and again locked up in the same cages like 3 years ago?!" Sawyer didn't even need an answer, Kate's look said it all and he just shook his head. "Son of a bitch. I knew it." He cursed.

"Yeah, I realised when I woke up in the shower again. Tom was waiting for me to wake up and he made me wear this dress. Again. Oh and I had a nice meeting with, surprise, Ben. Again." She rolled her eyes

"Wait you met Ben? Where's Karl. I-I remember him locked up in the other cage when I first woke up here."

"What do you mean?"

"I swear, he was here. You weren't here yet and he helped me out. I remember runnin' out in the jungle and then …. . "Sawyer broke up, his mind was racing. "What then?" Kate asked pulling Sawyer up to his feet. "Then she's alive." he mumbled.

"What? Who's alive?"

"Juliet. She's here." A wide smile spread on his face, bringing out his dimples. It was the first smile in three years. The first real smile he gave her and she fell for him all over again.

Kate smiled lightly, but her smile disappeared as fast as it had appeared. "What's wrong, Freckles?"

"She can't be here, Sawyer. She's dead. We both know, she is. What happened, happened."

Sawyers expression changed in a second from full of joy to more then pissed. "Who told ya that shit, Freckles? She may have died in the past or presents or what ever. But she ain't dead here!" Kate frowned, she was too afraid to let all her doubts out she had on her mind. So she decided to keep her mouth shut and make him angrier then he was now. Well, he wasn't seriously upset with her. Sawyer stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulder.

"I saw that pig, Pickett with Tom and Isabel in the jungle last night. So tell me, Kate. You still think she ain't alive?" He looked her deeply in the eyes. Kate remembered Juliet, shooting Danny right in front of their eyes and then she shook her head and gave him a warm smile.

"How come you're in my cage, anyways?" Sawyer then asked confused. Kate leaned against the bars rolling her eyes up to him and down again like she always did. "Sneaked out." She smiled mischievous. Sawyer trapped himself looking at her that way again. That way he'd looked at her 3 years ago. That way he'd hurt Juliet with. The way he never wanted to look at her again and as soon as he noticed he turned serious again and took a few steps back.

"Ain't the best idea to come over, Freckles. They'll notice somewhere along the way." She got the hint. He didn't want her there. Of course he'd been living with Juliet for 3 years but he couldn't say all the feelings he once had for her where gone just yet. "I don't want you to get hurt." He added and Kate's heart skipped a beat.

"Let's get out of here and find Jack and Juliet." She suggested with a big smile. For a minute Sawyer thought about that idea, but then shook his head. "Let's just wait. They're coming for us anyways. And the Doc. He'll get through this. Remember Juliet's with him."

He noticed she felt quite uncomfortable as she began climbing back up the bars to leave his cage. "Okay." She seriously tried to trust him, the whole situation. She didn't. There was still that bad feeling coming from her stomach that told her something was gonna happen. Something really bad. Something they didn't expect.


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Info.: Hey you guys! Just wanted to tell all of you Suliet fans that I'm sorry I couldn't bring them up earlier. Had my reasons. You'll figure it out. But I'm sure with that chapter you'll be satisfied for now. And I wanna apologise, cause I've gotta rough time at the moment. The ideas are kinda out, not spreading like they once did so sorry I couldn't upload sooner! Okay now, enjoy the chapter 6 :o)

'Remember everything happens for a reason'

"_**Every step that you take  
Could be your biggest mistake  
It could bend or it could break  
**__** But that's the risk that you take  
What if you should decide  
That you don't want me there in you life. **_

_**That you don't want me there by your side"**_

A Day had passed and nothing really special had happened. They didn't come for them yet, so they were eating fish biscuits and were mostly chatting about Jack and Juliet. Sawyer didn't even know why but he took the whole situation far not serious enough and neither did Kate, though she still got that bad feeling inside of her.

Sawyer sat in a corner near the bars watching Kate nibbling quietly on her biscuit. He sighed scanning the floor in front of him.

"Can I ask ya somethin', Freckles?" He asked his eyes never leaving the ground. Kate looked up and put the fish biscuit to the side, giving him a barely hearable "Mhmm."

"Why did ya come back, when ya could've a happy life with Jack?" That question had burned under his nails for quite some time now and finally he'd the chance to ask her. They hadn't had that much time the last days. There was Juliet and he didn't want her to think there was something going on between them. So it was hard hanging around with her like they used to all those years ago. Besides he had too much to do at work. To bring them all in to the community of the Dharma Initiative was tough and he'd never have made it without his Juliet. She did the most of it, even though she was not happy about them being back. About Kate being back. How she felt about Jack being back wasn't even on his mind, but he knew she'd been truly hurt when Jack refused to help her with little Ben. So Sawyer did everything, risk their lives just to make his Juliet happy. Wasn't that just true love?

"I felt kind of guilty and responsible of you guys. I thought if we just left you here we'd owe you now, to keep you save. We shouldn't have left at all. And Jack and I, we weren't happy. Okay, at the beginning we were. We were engaged even. But playing happy family didn't last long, until he started drinking and…. . He didn't trust me in the end. So we broke up and it got worse." Kate explained and Sawyer looked at her, frowning slightly.

"You still love'm?" Kate looked him in the eyes through the bars of her cage. He could tell she was thinking, though she nodded after a while. "Sure, of course." She paused, biting her bottom lip. "At least I think I do." Sawyer barely heard her; she was more mumbling it to herself. The both sat there in their cages in silence again. Sawyer was playing with a little stone and Kate just let the sun burn down on her face. Breathing in deeply as if it was the last breath she'd make, closing her eyes slightly.

"Is it different now?"

"What do you mean?" she was confused watching him again, or better watching his hand fiddling with the stone. "Is it different now, you're back on the island?" She still didn't get it and gave him an irritated look.

"Y'know he told me he wants ya back. Now he'd lost ya." Sawyer told her not daring to look back at her. Kate was totally baffled, putting herself up at the bars of her cage. "When…when did he tell you that?"

"Back in the 70's. Short before I almost punched the soul outta him." Sawyer smirked amused; he didn't know why he was still upset with Jack. "Sawyer." Kate rolled her eyes, obviously not in the mood for his sarcastic sometimes cynical comments. "Anyways, I found out what yer problem is. You and the Doc. always want what you can't have." It sound almost a little aggressive to Kate, she was totally speechless. And she kinda knew he was right.

Suddenly they heard footsteps. And not long enough after that, Tom, Danny and a few other people they didn't know unlocked there cages and handcuffed them again. "You're coming with us. It's time to make yourself a little useful." Danny hissed pushing Sawyer out of his prison roughly. Both of them (Kate and Sawyer) gave them evil glances.

They were pushing them further and they both knew were they were going. Suddenly somebody called Danny. And Colleen his wife stepped over to her husband. It felt like a déjà vu as Sawyer was watching them again, a slight grin on his face like 3 years ago. But this time he was thinking about the beautiful blonde he'd shared 3 years of pure love with. And again they trapped him watching them and again Danny got angry. "What're you lookin' at?" The words echoed in his head.

Danny led them to the place a few peoples chopped stones loose and stuff like that …

So they were forced to do the same again, after Danny gave them their instructions, their lunch box and made himself absolutely clear about the 'if-you're-pissing-me-off-in-any-kinda-way-you-gotta-get-shocked-thing.'

They had worked for a few hours now, and the heat was unbearable. The sweat was running down Sawyers forehead and his arms felt tired and weak. Their was no way he'd stand this any longer, without anything left to drink. And he could swear Kate felt the same as he looked over to her, chopping stones in her, now dirty from the dust, summer dress. He wiped his forehead and looked around. And there he was once left speechless as he saw that beautiful blonde he'd dreamed of the last days right in front of his nose. Chatting with some guy. Well he was more flirting with her, but Sawyer didn't care he'd only eyes for her. "Juliet" he whispered to himself watching her laugh and putting back a few strands that had fallen out of her straight made ponytail. And then suddenly, when the guy was gone her gaze turned over to him. Juliet titled her head slightly and he totally forgot catching the water bottle she threw over to him. So it fell to the ground. She chuckled lightly raising an eyebrow at him. "Oh shit." He thought to himself, kneeling down to grab it, never leaving her eyes while he did it.

He took a few gulps and wiped his forehead, disappointed because Juliet wasn't paying anymore attention and somebody screamed from behind him. "Hey! Go back to work."

So he did, still watching Juliet now standing there all alone watching the other people. Sawyer turned around getting in sight of Kate. She was rubbing her hurting wrists, then wiping the sweat from her forehead. Sawyer remembered he'd found her more then cute that day and he almost put a step closer, as he turned around once again and walked straight over to Juliet. An idea spread on his mind and even if he didn't like the idea it was the only way he'd get this all under control. Juliet hadn't even the time to react, to pull out her gun out of her pants as Sawyer easily pulled her in for a kiss. And _how_ he kissed her. As if it was the last kiss he'd get. He'd have loved to deepen this, to just kiss her and hold her close all the long. But he seriously had no time for that if his plan should work out the way he thought it could. To his surprise she didn't pull back or was pushing him away in any kind of way, as he then pulled her gun out of her pants, turned her around, holding her close and held it to her head. Of course he wasn't gonna hurt her. The others ran over to him pointing guns at him, building a close circle around him. Kate watched the scenario shocked, as someone grabbed her wrists, handcuffing her roughly. "What are you doing." She mouthed at Sawyer, fighting with Danny that held her from running. Sawyer gave her a confident glance and nodded to her as if to say 'Trust me!'

"Come any closer and she'll die." Sawyer shouted angrily, holding the gun seriously pressed against Juliet's head. He heard, felt her breathing heavily. Felt how her chest rose and fell over and over again and she would have thrown him right over her shoulder if he wouldn't have hold her that tight, so she could barely move. "Don't you do that, James. Don't…" Juliet breathed quietly, trying to remain calm, as she always did. "I'm sorry, turned out like that, Blondie. Ain't gonna hurt you, though." He whispered into her ear making her heart beating faster. "Let her go, you son of a bitch." A man hissed and his eyes were sparkling dangerously, just like everyone else's. …

**TBC :oP**


	8. Chapter 8

" _**I don't know your face no more  
Or feel your touch that I adore  
I don't know your face no more  
It's just a place I'm looking for  
We might as well be strangers in another town  
We might as well be living in a different world  
We might as well  
We might as well  
We might as well"**_

_**___________________________________________________________________________**_

…"You're not like that. James please, give me the gun." Juliet aspirated pretty calm. Sawyer smirked. "Yeah, so you can throw me over your shoulder and put me back into that stupid cage? No way!" He kissed her cheek lightly and Juliet turned her head in disgust. "And isn't it quiet cosy in here?" Sawyer was pointing with the gun between the two of them. "Cuddly." She felt his hot breath on her skin and it gave her shivers down her spine. Juliet rolled her eyes, she wasn't scared at all. She just had no clue why he'd make her feel that way.

"Hey, hey, hey. Ain't gonna work that way. I'm being serious here." Sawyer called out after one of the guys took a few steps forward still pointing the gun at him, like all the others around him. "Sawyer, please!" Kate shouted still struggling with Danny. Kate knew Sawyer could never win this game. They were far too much. Sawyer ignored her enjoying the sensation of having Juliet in his arms. He'd already missed it and even if was under quite uncomfortable circumstances he enjoyed every second. Juliet on the other hand visibly didn't.

"Swear to god, I'll shoot her." Sawyer tried to convince them again that he was serious. Nervously they looked at each other and somebody then lowered his gun. "C'mon this is insane. Get your guns down." The man said. Danny gave him a dead stare. "Shut up! I'm the one that gives the instructions here." He shouted. "Who says that?" another man pointed out angrily. They all stopped as Juliet's voice resounded more then annoyed. "Guys! That isn't the right time for fighting."

"Yeah, listen to Barbie here." Sawyer comment. He couldn't believe that those guys were fighting now he held a gun to one of them. Such idiots. They weren't even caring about her, not even a little bit. Were they?

"Got some nice friends there, Juliet." Juliet was confused once again, her head was spinning.

"So now what? Wanna see her die or will ya finally put that damn guns down." Sawyer shouted now obviously pissed. This wasn't the way he'd planed it. Danny began laughing then. And everybody was eying him confused.

"What's so funny?" Sawyer hissed. Kate looked up to Danny. She got scared as she saw that evil spark in his eyes. And she already knew what was coming next. "Kill her and I'm gonna kill your little friend here." Danny grinned dangerously putting a gun to Kate's head either.

Sawyer hadn't thought about that and now he was the one feeling quite uncomfortable.

"Sawyer." Kate called out desperately.

"Let her go." Sawyer snarled, pressing the gun firmer to Juliet's forehead. "James, you're not like that. Don't do this. You don't have to, just give me the gun." Juliet said calm, but he could still feel her pulse raising.

It was strange how easily Juliet could read him, how easily she could convince him within a second. How easily she could talk him into something. It felt like his arm wasn't his anymore as he let go of the gun, that dropped to the ground with a thud, his eyes never leaving Kate's fear filled ones. So he forgot everything around him and Juliet used the opportunity to turn and kicked him into the stomach with one of her knees. Sawyer fell to the ground, holding his stomach. Man she still knew how to hurt people. "Sorry, James." She mumbled not knowing why she even apologised for her actions. That man had held a gun to her head, hello.

Sawyer grabbed her left leg and pulled her down so she fell right on top of him. She wanted to get up, but when he looked at her. When he looked her in the eyes like he did that moment, she froze dead in her tracks. Her head was spinning again. There was nothing left but those eyes. She knew those eyes. She just didn't know when or where she had seen them before. Those eyes haunted her in her dreams. "From where do I know you only?" she whispered questioningly. Sawyer grinned through the pain and pulled her back into a light, but intense kiss. She closed her eyes slightly. Why did it feel so normal, so familiar? Like she'd never done anything else.

Hard to believe this all happened within a few seconds as they pulled her away from him, her eyes never leaving his. "Juliet" It may have sounded desperate but he was scared. Scared he'd lose her once again, as her hand let go of his grasp. And then that unbearable pain again, it shot through every vein.

Convulsed with pain he was watching her, looking at him compassionate. They grabbed him and Kate, pointing guns to their backs and pushed them around. "You better leave her alone. Son of a bitch." The guy that had flirted with Juliet hissed. Sawyer felt too weak to talk and he was tired of fighting against the pain, so he preferred to keep his mouth shut. From the inside on the other hand he could've punched this guy in the face. What was he even flirting with her, when he didn't care about her life after all. All of them were giving a shit about Juliet. They would have let her die. "Shut up." Kate defended trying to get to him, but two other guys held her from scratching the man's eyes out. "Its okay, Freckles." Sawyer then whispered softly and she gave him a weak smile.

Juliet was watching them, her face expressionless again. Her head was spinning, she put her hand to her forehead as white lights flashed in front of her eyes and blurred pictures passed them. She thought she was going to get crazy as she then heard voices coming from the inside of her head. They echoed loudly silencing everything around her.

"_I got you."_

"_Sawyer!"_

"_Don't you leave me."_

"_It's okay."_

"_**Don't**__ you leave me. You, hold on"_

"_I love you."_

"_No, you don't let go."_

"_I love you, James."_

"_No."_

"_I love you so much."_

"_No! No. No. No. Juliet! No!"_

The horrible scenery finally ended but Juliet could still hear the screams in her head, the crying and terrible creepy noises. She didn't notice she sank to the ground holding both of her hands over her ears. Even if she didn't see anything clearly she could still make out that one of that had been her. It was her voice. She was crying, telling somebody how much she loved him. But she couldn't quite make out who the other ones were, though their voices sounded familiar to her. Tears streamed down her face. Juliet had no clue why she was crying. She was seriously getting crazy now.

"You okay, Julie?" Tom asked pulling her up to her feet again.

"I-I-I'm …yeah. Just… just got a little headache. I think I might lay down for a while." She spluttered, holding her head. "You sure, you're okay?" Tom mustered her strangely.

"Yeah. Uhm don't worry." Juliet faked a smile and walked away. Followed by 20 pair of eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

It was in the middle of the night and Sawyer once more got woken by a noise. He put a hand to the air to protect his eyes from the white light that was shone on him. Sawyer got up as he saw the person behind the flashlight that was pointed to his face.

"Juliet." He said surprised, getting up and walking over, putting both of his hands at the bars of his prison. She looked pale, but still beautiful as ever with her long blond curls loosely hanging down her shoulders. "I came here to ask you some questions and I want answers." She said her face expressionless again. Sawyer smiled to himself, shaking his head lightly, looking her in those bright shining blue eyes of hers.

"Good Evening to you too, Sunshine." He greeted her jokingly, whereupon Juliet just rolled her eyes.

"What's going on? First you knew my name, Jack did too. You know things about me I haven't told anybody on this island before. I was seriously trying to believe Jack was going crazy but at the moment…. At the Moment I think _I'm_ going to. So please tell me what's happening here." She said frustrated, running a hand through her hair. "You wanna know?" he asked. Juliet nodded. "Let me out and I'll tell ya." Juliet sighed. "I…. " she began, but footsteps and suddenly a oh so familiar voice startled her.

"Juliet! What're you doing here?" the voice called out into the dark. Sawyer meant to see a glimpse of fear in her eyes. "C'mon Juliet. Hurry up. I gotta talk to you." Ben stepped out of the dark, his expression emotionless and Sawyer knew this Juliet was still scared of it in some ways. "I gotta go. But I'm telling you I'm not ready with you yet." She breathed quietly, so Ben wouldn't hear her. She gave Sawyer a last glance, then closed her eyes for a second and bit her bottom lip. Juliet breathed in deeply once and exhaled before turning around. "You ain't gotta do this, y'know?!" Sawyer whispered over to her. Juliet stopped remaining still. "Oh yeah, I have to." She said but more to herself than to Sawyer and so she left with him. With the guy she hated the most. The he hated the most for making his girls life a living hell.

Sawyer didn't know where they where going now. What he'd do to her. Would he punish her for talking to him? For sure Ben was watching and listening to them the whole time.

"Sawyer?" Kate's sleepy voice came out of the dark.

"Hm!" Sawyer replied a little absence.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Don't know. 11 maybe." Sawyer sat down in a corner leaning his back against the stone wall. "Can't exactly see my watch, Freckles." Kate smirked.

"Sorry." She quietly said after a pause.

"For what?"

"I feel so bad for what happened that afternoon. Sorry for screwing it up." She apologised and Sawyer grunt slightly.

"Ain't your fault, Freckles. I screwed it all up." He thought about what happened and he somehow regretted putting Kate's life in danger. The only thing he didn't regret was kissing the love of his life.

"To be honest, your little plan wasn't quite that well considered, though." Kate chuckled after a while. Sawyer smiled. "Now I'm feelin' so much better. C'mon bring me down." Sawyer called out trying to seem hurt. He didn't make it, though. Both started laughing.

"You think they're watching us right now?" Kate asked after a few seconds. Sawyer looked up at the camera that hung in his cage. The red light was still blinking.

"Guess so. Anyways, Ben's tied up with business right now. Hence they're not listening." Sawyer began. Kate raised an eyebrow. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Listen Freckles, I've gotta plan. " He continued.

"What another one? I hope you thought about it more than once." Kate chuckled lightly. Sawyer would have given one of his typical Sawyer glares if she could see his face.

"That ain't funny, Freckles. Okay, here's the plan. Tomorrow is gonna be the day Pickett's wife dies."

"Yeah so?"

"By the time they're all busy tryin' to save her life we're getting' the hell outta here." Sawyer explained. Kate frowned. "What about Jack?" He could hear how concerned she was about the whole thing. And who could hold it against her. They didn't know what was going to happen. "Wouldn't it be easier just to play along?"

"I ain't goin' trough all this torture again. Y'know how it feels get beaten up by that asshole Pickett?

"Well, Juliet punished him enough last time."

"Ain't about revenge, Kate. I don't want her to kill'm."

"Why not, he deserved it. May sound cruel but…"

"I don't wanna make her a damn killer!"

As Sawyer started shouting at her, Kate got suddenly pretty quiet trying to take all in what he said. She didn't understand that's what bothered Sawyer the most. Maybe she just didn't wanna understand.

"She did it before, Sawyer."

"Not in that time."

"Sawyer…"

"No, Freckles. You don't understand. They almost killed her for helping us getting' away from here, last time."

"But she didn't." Kate said angrily, crossing her arms in front of her breast.

Sawyer mumbled something to himself, then remained quiet. Kate obviously didn't know what they did to Juliet. She didn't know on what barbarous kinda way they'd punished her. Sawyer was disgusted by even thinking about it and he meant to smell burned flesh. There was no way he'd allow that to happen again.

Kate sighed, trying to make herself comfortable on the rock she lay now.

"I'm sorry." She whispered then into the dark. "I was just thinking about the consequences."

"Consequences for what?" Sawyer replied after a long pause.

"We cant just change the past, uh presence ..Uhm past. What ever." She stumbled.

"Then why do ya think we're here?" He was seriously questioning her now and Kate thought about it for a minute just to recognise she had no clue. What a coincidence! Sawyer shook his head.

"Lock once said we're here for a reason. Every one of us. So if that's true then why're we back in this time if not to change something?" She kept quiet, listening to her own breathing.

"Think about it, Freckles." Sawyer gave it up for now. He'd give her the time to sleep about everything and maybe she'd be with him by the time the next day started.


	10. Chapter 10

It was raining, fog hung above the jungle so she couldn't see clearly. Her mind was racing. Her hair soaking wet, sticking to her face. The red t-shirt she wore haggled and blood streamed just like the rest of her clothes, just like anything else. She looked at her arms, scanning her wounds. She lay on the wet grass somewhere in the jungle. Where she was? She didn't know. Carefully she tried to get up, but her legs wouldn't move. So she remained still for a moment, closing her eyes as she felt her whole body aching.

The rain was pattering down on her, washing the blood away from her face. Her breathing was weak though it was steady, but she felt like chocking as suddenly a sob escaped her lips. And another and another. Why was she crying? She'd no idea. Her hand went to her stomach, lingering there for a while. She heard herself sobbing even harder. The Sobbing soon turned into coughing. She curled herself up into a ball, hugging her knees as good as she could, gasping from the pain it caused.

The pain, that throbbing pain was almost unbearable, though she had to get up. She knew she'd die out here if she'd just give up on trying. And so she did. She didn't care if she died or not, but something inside of her told her it wasn't the right time to die yet. Carefully she stretched her arm out to reach for the bamboo to lift herself up a little bit. "Aaargh…" she screamed as the pain rose inside of her body. Every move she made did hurt, though she didn't give up. She was strong, she knew she was. She had to be.

When it came to her legs she felt like fainting as a huge wave of pain shot through every vein. Once more she was sobbing; hot tears ran down her cheeks, dripping onto her bloody bruised skin. The salty liquid burning in her wounds. She bit her lips, pressing her eyes shut for a second. Then pulled herself further up reaching for every branch, bush or little tree she could reach to steady her shaking legs. When she was finally on her feet she immediately leaned on a nearby tree to support herself. "Help me, James." She whispered a single tear rolling down her left cheek. Suddenly there was a noise coming from between the giant trees, blocking the sight from the sky.

She looked around. Nothing in sight. But then something, a shadow scurried through the bushes and familiar noises came to her ears. She turned around, looking behind her with fear in her eyes. And there it was again, the shadow it was coming closer. She let out a slight whimper. She took a few steps behind looking up as black smoke appeared and approached her dangerously. She took another few steps behind, facing the danger. "What do you want?" she screamed mustering all her strength. "Haven't you had enough?" There was no sonic fence that'd protect her now, so she ran. She ran as fast as she could, as fast as her legs would let her. The black smoke followed her and it came quickly, making those elephant like noises.

There she was now running trough the jungle, her hair damp and curly. The leaves and branches were hit her, cutting into her flesh when she was rambling through the woods. A small cut graced her left cheek, but she didn't feel the pain she's far to scared. Her breathing was quick, she felt like hyperventilating as her legs gave in and she once again fell into the mud. She tried to sit up, her body refused; she turned so she would lie on her back. And there, there it was again, it was coming closer. As it had circled her she held her stomach, mumbling something like. "It's okay, it's gonna be okay." And then looked straight up at the horror. "What're you waiting for? C'mon you son of a bitch." She sobbed one last time before protecting her eyes with her arms, holding them in front of her face, waiting. Waiting till the bitter end may come.

Juliet woke, sating up immediately. Her heart was racing, her breath sharp and quick. She held her head for a second and thought about her dream. It had been so real, like she was really there. A million questions were on her mind, whereby her head began spinning and she decided to get a glass of water. She threw back her blanket, as she then got startled by someone sitting at the edge of the bed. A really strangely clothed man.

"Hello, Juliet" the blond man said smiling at her warmly.

"Who're you? How did you get here?" she asked covering herself with a sheet.

"I'm Jacob, Dear!" the man introduced herself, leaving Juliet speechless. _That_ Jacob?!

"You...you´re Jacob? Jacob by uhm Jacob the 'ghost' of the Island?" she asked calming a little.

"If you call it like that. How're you feeling, Juliet?" Juliet shot him a look and raised an eyebrow. "Well you just scared the hell out of me, how am I supposed to feel?!" she hissed.

"Sorry about that. I didn't intend to scare you, though I didn't wanna wake you." Jacob explained and Juliet mumbled to herself, rolling her eyes slightly.

"Anyways Juliet, I´m here to show you something…"

"_Show_ me something? Show me what?"

"You'll see. C'mon, take my hand." He said and stretched a hand out to her. She eyed it sceptically, hesitating for a while. "You can trust me, Juliet." Juliet searched his eyes; he was reading her like a book. Could he read her mind too? The slightest thought about it made her quite nervous. "I…mhm..." she began stumbling a little, when he cut in on her. "Please trust me, Juliet." Juliet frowned. It was hard trusting someone she only knew for about 2 minutes, though she hesitantly reached out for his hand. It was big and warm. Sudden warmth rushed through her veins, warming every inch of her body. Jacob smiled at her and she felt herself giving a slight smile back.

Only in her nightgown she followed him, her eyes never leaving the strange, mysterious man they were always talking about. Ben was always talking about. He didn't seem like someone that would give the orders do to the things Ben did. Maybe Ben was just a bad liar. No, he was nothing more than a big lie. A pathetic little man, a tyrant that might have had a bad childhood. Oh if she knew.

Juliet wasn't really aware of were they were going as the already stood in something like a temple, looking like a gravesite of a pharaoh. Illuminated by torches. Stonewalls with different paintings, strange symbols and writings, left her once again speechless. She let go of Jacobs's hand, slowly approaching the wall in front of her. Juliet let her hand wander over the sandstone, tracing the lines and symbols; she cocked her head while doing so. "That's marvellous." She whispered fascinated by those details and the good preservation.

"Yeah isn't it? Millennium long work, it was worth it though." Jacob smiled knowingly when she turned back to him and eyed him. "Why did you bring me here?" she then asked folding her arms in front of her breast. Jacob remained quiet but gave her a hint by stretching out his index finger, pointing to something. Juliet followed with her eyes. Jacob was pointing at a kind of altar. A woman lay on top on it. A woman with blond hair and pale skin, wearing a red shirt and jeans. Juliet stepped closer her eyes widening with shock as she realised that the person lying on the altar was her or maybe just looked like her. "Oh my god…that's her. That's m…." Did she have a twin she didn't know about yet? Juliet sank to her knees eying the person in front of her. "How...why…? What is this all about? "She stumbled when Jacob put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't be afraid. "He said softly. Juliet opened her mouth a few times but she wasn't able to get out the slightest tone. "I see you gotta lot of questions." What was he thinking of course she got a lot of questions; her counterpart was lying right in front of her. She seriously believed she was completely crazy now. Everything was just a dream, yeah a nightmare.

"That's just a bad joke, right? I mean …god would you please tell me why you were bringing me here?" Juliet held her head, her head that was spinning again. Jacob smirked. "The reason I was bringing you here is right in front of you. That's you Juliet. But this Juliet died long ago. And it's gonna happen to you too if…. "

"What?" Juliet cut in on him with a mix of surprise and anger. She was seriously thinking about running out of that stupid temple. But something held her there. "I didn't say it is going to happen. It could, though. But that's not the point." He continued now talking to her from the other side of the altar. "Then what is the point?"

"I saw you all coming here before. I saw you fighting, trying to survive and all of you died in the end and it's happening over and over again. I've been watching this scenario far too long now, Juliet." Juliet was listening nervously; she didn't understand a word he was saying though she tried giving him that blank look.

"Yeah, _**so**_?"

"Something changed when you tried to detonate that hydrogen bomb down the hatch. This time it went off and you travelled back in time. That never happened before as long as I can recall."

"Okay it this going to be kind of joke or something, cause if it is it's not a good one." Juliet said angrily but Jacob held her back from leaving.

"Have you been feeling strange lately? Didn't you wake up one morning and noticed something was different, something changed, something maybe even was missing?" he asked quickly and Juliet looked him straight in the eyes now, thinking. "I..."she began

"Haven't you had the feeling you wouldn't belong there?"

"You know I kinda feel that way every day." Juliet simply said.

"Yeah Juliet, that might be true you don't belong here but you know what I´m talking about. Deep down you know." Jacob meant looking down at the sleeping beauty, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't understand." Juliet was confused and also frustrated; something inside of her knew he told her the truth, but her own protective barrier refused believing the guy.

"By the time you'll remember you'll understand. Trust me." There it was again that convincing tone. "It's time to change things now. It's time to save life and of course to _**give**_life." Jacob smiled warmly putting a hand on top of dead Juliet's stomach. Juliet frowned at his actions looking down at herself. "I still don't…" she broke of as Jacob put his index fingers to his lips. "Shh...You'll understand." Juliet didn't even get the time to react as she felt herself lying in her bed again, starring at the ceiling. Thinking about Jacob and the things he told her. They may have sounded ridiculous but why would Jacob lie about such things. And what did he mean by giving life. Juliet shook her head and tried to go back to sleep. Maybe this all was just another dream. Maybe just vanity. Maybe, maybe, maybe…..or maybe not.

TBC

Please review and tell me what you think! Hope you're not too confused right now^^


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note****: Hey you guys, sorry it took me so long for writing that chapter, but I was kind of devastated lately and work was keeping me pretty busy. Anyways I hope you´ll enjoy chapter 11 now.**

Today would be the day Picketts wife died, the day Danny would want to kill Sawyer even if it wasn't his fault. The day Jack would realise why they brought him there, the day Juliet would lose all hope left. Why wouldn't they all just run away? Why wouldn't they just refuse to let it all happen again? Would it change something? Was it worth it? What was there to lose if they just left? That's what Jack thought, Sawyer thought, only Kate was the one doubting the idea of just running.

Although she was on the run her whole live, but now it was different. She was afraid, afraid of losing Jack and she knew she somehow would. If something would happen to him she would never forgive herself. It was just that strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, that bad feeling telling her to not change anything. To do exactly the same things they did 3 years ago. Something would happen, yeah something bad if they did. They would get caught one way or the other they would and she didn't want to be left holding the bag.

While Kate was thinking all night long, not able to get her eyes shut even once, Jack sat in his cell. Waiting. Waiting for Juliet to finally show up, even though there were still a few hours left. The night had been long, too long. Jack felt weak. He hadn't really slept in days now and he hadn't had the chance to talk to Juliet really. Sometimes she just wouldn't come. Maybe Ben got suspicious. Of course he was listening when he talked to Juliet. Maybe he was afraid Juliet would just let him down, giving up on trying breaking him (Jack) to make him trust her, to make him _want_ to help Ben with his surgery.

Anyways Jack trusted Juliet fully and he had the feeling she kind of did too. Yeah it did seem like he somehow got to her. That was good, wasn't it? Maybe she would remember soon. He had noticed she was asking a lot of questions lately, questions she wouldn't have asked if she wouldn't remember things. She only did when _he _wasn't listening, watching. All of it wasn't making much sense to Jack but he wouldn't feel guilty for Juliet's death anymore. Although he wasn't showing much of that guilt to anyone.

Jack immediately got up as the door got pushed open on the other side of the glass wall and Juliet hurried in more than distraught. Wearing that white lab coat he knew so well, that wasn't so white anymore. There was blood all over it.

"Julie..." Jack started stepping in front of the glass, putting both hands to it. Juliet broke him off a single tear streaming down her left cheek.

"Jack you…you gotta help me. "She said with that vulnerability she used to show only then she was truly desperate. Her voice trembling, her body shook and fear reflected in her eyes. Jack gave her a compassionate look and then looked over to Tom that stood in the doorframe waiting for Juliet.

A few minutes later they stood in front of the washbasins washing there hands before stepping into the operating room to save Colleens live or at least trying to. They stood there in great silence, only the rushing noise of the water was filling the quietness between them.

"You ready?" he asked breaking the awkwardness.

"I-I…I´m ready when you are." She then said with a look of uncertainty.

"You scared?" Jack asked never leaving those blue eyes of hers. He knew she was.

"Hell, yeah." Jack smirked to himself. Juliet gave him that look of uncertainty again and he meant to see a few tears welling up in her eyes. So Jack reacted thinking about the once strong Juliet he couldn't find in that woman in front of him right now.

"It's okay. C'mere." He said quietly pulling her in for a hug. This was awkward. They stood there a few seconds, Juliet never touching him. Her shoulders were tense and her hands were shaking. Nobody had made the effort or had even tried to embrace her that way since Goodwin. She felt somehow strangely safe and secure and after less than a minute she calmed. Jack could feel her return his kind gesture, responding to his hug. Juliet laid her shaking hands on his back slowly closing her eyes before breathing in his scent deeply.

"What ever happens in there ….it's not your fault." He whispered into her ear. Juliet wanted to respond to this but she felt herself being at a loss of words when Jack continued. "You did a lot of good. You saved Claire's live and Sun and her baby's live, yeah even my live. And maybe you don't know what I´m talking about right now, but I think deep in there you know I´m telling the truth." She pushed him away from her softly looking him straight in the eyes.

"Jack..." he cut her off

"Don't... You'll understand. You just need some help. And now I want you to count to five, inhale deeply and then we'll do this." Juliet gave him a confused look but she did what he asked her to do. Although she had no idea _why. _Count to 5, she'd heard that before. Voices were talking to her, whispering strange things to her.

"_Do you remember the story I told you….?"_

Why all those flashes, those noises, those voices in her head?Why did it feel like she knew him her whole live? Why was she having all that dreams about him? What was it that made him so interesting to her? All those things he told her seemed so ridiculous but sincere. Maybe he was telling her the truth she didn't know about, like she got a smash on the head and didn't remember a whole lifetime or he was just a good actor doing everything to make her trust him so she would let them go.

Juliet got pulled out of her thoughts when Tom stormed out of the operating room.

"JULIET. Her…her hearts stopping." He called out eying them suspiciously when he noticed their closeness. Jack and Juliet promptly jumped. Jack cleared his throat and Juliet looked anywhere but at Jack.

"Are you coming now?" Tom then asked desperately and Juliet just nodded and hurried in. Jack close behind her. Her eyes full of fear and uncertainty she looked over Colleen and then back to Jack. He gave her a warm smile and nodded. "Let's do this." She thought counting to 5 slowly, inhaling deeply before exhaling, doing what Jack told her to do. Watching every move, never feeling that concentrated before.

"_I'm not a surgeon." _

___________________________________________________________________________

Kate was sitting on the rock in her cage, Indian style, her eyes closed. Thinking. Sawyer just woke up now eying her little amused, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Usually he would have made a stupid comment but this time he put himself together clearing his throat slightly to get her attention. Kate opened one eye looking him straight in the eyes from the other cage.

"Hey." She said softly, closing her eye again, inhaling deeply.

"What, ain't gonna tell me what ya doin'?" he asked with a smirk, showing his dimples, although Kate wasn't watching.

"Well, how does it look like?" she asked finally opening both of her eyes and leaning back on her hands. Sawyer made a hand wave and shrugged, searching the ground for a stone he could play with.

"I'm trying to find my inner peace." Kate explained finally getting confused looks by Sawyer.

"Aha. So uh…did ya find it yet?" he chuckled.

"Stop makin' fun of me." Kate laughed. "At least I tried." Sawyer smiled sleepily showing those cute dimples. "Juliet would've said that too." Kate shook her head smiling lightly to herself; she felt herself at a loss of words as she opened her mouth a few times but closed it again. Sawyer cleared his throat again, finally feeling uncomfortable around her.

"So…you been thinkin' 'bout what've talked about yesterday?" Sawyer then asked fiddling with a tiny stick, sliding it between his fingers back and forth.

"All night long." She reassured.

"You didn't sleep?"

"Not really…anyways my answer is No. I´m not in on this."

"Why not?" Sawyer said almost a little angry getting up walking his cage up and down."

"Because I… What if we don't make it? They'll lock us up into those damn cages again and then? And what if ….if Jack gets hurt? What if they kill him because we tried to escape?"

"Damn Kate, stop whining. Seriously, that all you got? `Cause that ain't stoppin' me from getting out of here now. I just needa wait till they bring ass Picketts wife and then I´m out." Sawyer shook his head standing up.

"They've been here already." Kate said calmly as Sawyer glared at her. "What? Why haven't you woken me?" he hissed.

"I just think it's a stupid plan, okay." Kate stood up as well getting quiet furious at his sudden outburst.

"Givin' up then, huh? Kay…. Y'know go to hell, _Kate_" Sawyer shouted turning his back to her. He tried to put himself together but he was just too angry to calm and Kate knew by the way he called out her name he wouldn't be the right person to talk to right now. To explain why she thought it wasn't the best plan. She was tired and sick of it all. She wished to be back in 2007, back home. Back in the real world, instead she was trapped in damn 2004, haven't heard the slightest thing about Jack.

Sawyer then turned back to her continuing his speech, he'd thought about for quiet some time. "I-I mean why did yer come back after all? Jules and I were just fine an' you damn yahoos comin' back like nothin' ever happened destroyin' everythin' we've build for the last three years. An' damn I want that back. Ain't ya tell me we don't belong, 'cause I damn well know were I belong." There was so much more he could have added to his little speech, but he gave in, slowly starting to climb up the bars of his jail.

Kate looked at the ground, feeling guilt rising up in her again. How should she've known they've been fine? On the other side she knew she was being pretty selfish just like Jack. They just wanted to escape the miserable live, the unbearable daily routine they were living in slowly tearing apart, living a lie just like everyone else. Just like Sawyer and Juliet, except that they'd been happy and Kate believed Sawyer when he'd told her that maybe this whole Dharma thing had been a lie but his love to Juliet's the only thing he hadn't lied about. The once con-man finally had grown up, settled down, thinking that now his live had finally started. Believing he'd found his fate. Prepared to spend the rest of his live like that untill he died and he was fine with it. No new invention, he for sure missed sometimes in the 70th, like Nintendo would have held him from living that lie. That sweet seductive lie and that special, extraordinary beautiful woman he'd grown to love, made it more then bearable and there was no way he would have ever missed it.

"Sawyer ….I. What're you doing?" Kate asked as she was pulled out of her day dream, watching him, putting both of her hands on the bars of the cage. "You ain't goin', but I will. Not matter what." As Sawyer had reached the top and edged himself through the bars, he jumped all the way down getting up quickly, brushing the dirt away from his pants. He already missed their Dharma jumpsuits they'd left in the jungle earlier.

"So you're really gonna do this?" Sawyer nodded giving her that typical Sawyer glance.

"Sure you ain't wanna see the doc." He waited a few seconds before moving out of her sight; just then Kate quickly climbed up the bars and escaped her cage to race after him, forgetting about her doubts for a little while.

"Sawyer! Wait." Kate called out, a smile spreading on her face when her thoughts travelled to Jack.

___________________________________________________________________________

Juliet ran out of the operating room, pulled her blood soaked cloves off and threw them into a trash can. She was devastated, yeah more than that. Hot tears ran down her cheeks and she let out a shriek of anger. She wanted to hit something, maybe even hit someone. The blood boiled inside of her and she slammed her fists against the wall, turning around and she sank slowly to the ground. Juliet pulled her knees close to her body putting her hands over her eyes, sobbing quietly into them while she rocked herself back and forth slightly, like the little kids always did. And to be honest right now she wanted to be baby again, she wanted to be held by someone, wanted to feel save in someone's arms. She wanted somebody to tell her this all wasn't happening, that it all was just a bad dream, like the one she had last night. If it was a dream at all….

Three years, yeah three freakin' years she had lost every patient that had entered her operating room. There was not even one, not a single pregnant woman that survived the end of the third semester. They all died, all slipped away right under her fingers. She'd failed, _again. _Jacob had lied. Just like everybody else had lied to her. _..to save live_, my ass, she thought.

Juliet began sobbing harder still rocking herself back and forth as a warm hand touched her shoulder gently. Juliet got startled, quivering lightly she looked up with tear filled eyes and looked right into Jacks green sad eyes that made her heart skip a beat. She wiped away a few tears directly giving him a blank look.

"What? What're you doing here? I thought they brought you back into your cell." She sniffed but didn't make the effort to walk away from him. Instead she stayed were she was looking up to him with ocean blue eyes, tears were sparkling in. "No they uh…no they didn't." He felt himself at a loss of words since he didn't know how to handle the situation and answered her barely over a whisper. He always used to get all shy about her due to the things he put her trough, even death. Jack sighed then and sat down beside her, leaning his back against the wall.

"I´m sorry, Juliet. I know how you're feeling now." Did he? Juliet shook her head and she would have screamed at him, would've told him about the horrible 3 years she'd lost all those people over and over again, but something inside her held her back. "…and like I've said…it's not your fault."

That sentence, that one little sentence caused her head to spin again. And flashes passed in front of her eyes. The voices came back and those blurry figures, like ghosts twirling around the inside of her head. The slight feeling of getting insane welled up again as she heard her own voice whispering from somewhere still far away.

"_Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"_

"_I don't care about making you feel better."_

Then suddenly the voices stopped and the blurry pictures disappeared. Something about that flash hurt her, though she didn't know why. A single tear escaped her eye making its way down her cheek dropping onto the cold stone floor.

Jack hadn't notice anything at all, he kept talking, although she wasn't really listening. Juliet rocked herself back and forth again, looking at him instantly as he called out her name to get her back to reality.

"..She was dead before you put her on the table." Juliet said barely over a whisper and Jack gave her a confused look. "Huh?" Juliet shook her head immediately. "Nothing."

"Anyway, I think we couldn't have done better. Sometimes things are just…supposed to happen, Juliet. It's fate. What ever happens, happens." Jack tried to explain never leaving her eyes. Juliet frowned. "Are you just saying that to make me feel better?" she then asked out of the blue, the answer still echoing in her head. The answer she wouldn't get this time.

"I'd lie if I told you I didn't but I also know that there was no way to save her anyways." Juliet gave him a blank stare raising one eyebrow slightly, squeezing her eyes suspiciously together. "You knew this!" she said pretty certain about the fact that he did. "I.." Jack began but she broke him off, getting up to her feet again and so did he. "I´m right, am I? You knew all this and you just hugged me for comfort because you knew this would happen. What kind of game is that supposed to be? Why do you wanna earn my trust so badly? What do you _ want _from me?" she yelled at him not caring about the fact that she showed the vulnerable site of hers.

"Because I… ." he began angrily but when he noticed that he was almost screaming at her he lowered his voice immediately and continued softly with a frown. ".._we_ need you to help us. Come with us, Julie. Trust me we're not bad people. We know eatchother for a long time even if you can't remember just yet. But it´s all coming back. I saw it in your eyes, you do remember some things and don't tell me you don't." She glared at him and he ran a hand through his short brown hair waiting for an answer. But Juliet kept quiet opening her mouth some times as if she wanted to say something, searching for the right words, but then she closed it again gazing to the floor.

"Please….Juliet. Come with me." Jack begged barely over a whisper and grabbed her hand but she pulled it back as if the dead himself came to get her. "I'm sorry, Juliet." a female voice said behind her. And then suddenly something hit the back of her head hard, a sudden pain shot through her head and all she could see was black when her knees buckled and she felt herself falling right into someones huge warm arms. "Got ya, Blondie." Sawyer said and Jacks eyes widened, when he saw Kate and Sawyer right in front of him. Jack smiled at Kate. "Jack!" Kate smiled. "Doc." Sawyer greeted Jack with a nod. "You okay? Did they hurt you?" Kate asked and threw herself into his arms. He gladly excepted her embrace and held her close breathing in her scent. "I´m okay. What about you?" Sawyer rolled his eyes and looked down at Juliet lovingly, still hanging lose from his arms. He scooped her up, putting her arms around his neck, her head gently resting on his shoulder.

"How did you guys get in here?" Jack asked looking between Kate and Sawyer.

"There're no cameras around that space soo.." Kate began.

"And what about Ben's people?"

"Who says violence ain't an option these days." Sawyer chuckled all anger forgotten. Jack shook his head with a smirk scratching his stubbles.

"C'mon let's get out of here." Kate said paniking slightly when the alarm went on. They had to flee, _now_. The three of them ran towards the exit, Sawyer a little behind with Juliet still in his arms. "Hell Freckles, couldn't ya be a lil' nicer to her." He asked rushing out of the hydra. "Sorry, but she wasn't going to cooperate with us, so we have to force her to her own luck." Sawyer laughed. "I'll forgive ya. But I'm ain't sure _she_'s gonna be amused 'bout it." Sawyer chuckled giving Kate his typical Sawyer glance.

"Hey stop." Somebody then called out from near the cages pointing a gun upon them. Kate slightly startled shot the guy in the leg immediately with the gun she had knocked Juliet out cold previously. The man groaned with pain and fell to the ground holding on to his aching leg. "Run." Kate yelled and escaped into the jungle, before more of the others came up running in their direction. "Oh I was already missin' that action." Sawyer smirked while they were rushing through the bushes. "That´s not funny, Sawyer." Jack said angrily squeezing Kate's hand when he made fear out in her eyes. "So, what now?" Kate asked looking up to Sawyer and so did Jack while they were hiding in the bushes.

**TBC**

**Reviews are love. Reviews are inspiration, so please review and tell me what ya think :o)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey you guys, sorry it took me sooooo long to update that chapter, but I had so much to do with work and school so there wasn't much time. I hope you'll understand and hopefully you like the new chapter. Enjoy and thanks for the nice reviews. **

**If you forget me**

**I want you to know**

**one thing. **

**You know how this is: **

**if I look **

**at the crystal moon, at the red branch **

**of the slow autumn at my window, **

**if I touch **

**near the fire **

**the impalpable ash **

**or the wrinkled body of the log, **

**everything carries me to you, **

**as if everything that exists, **

**aromas, light, metals, **

**were little boats **

**that sail **

**toward those isles of yours that wait for me. **

**Well, now, **

**if little by little you stop loving me **

**I shall stop loving you little by little. **

**If suddenly **

**you forget me **

**do not look for me, **

**for I shall already have forgotten you. **

**If you think it long and mad, **

**the wind of banners **

**that passes through my life, **

**and you decide **

**to leave me at the shore **

**of the heart where I have roots, **

**remember **

**that on that day, **

**at that hour, **

**I shall lift my arms **

**and my roots will set off **

**to seek another land. **

**But **

**if each day, **

**each hour, **

**you feel that you are destined for me **

**with implacable sweetness, **

**if each day a flower **

**climbs up to your lips to seek me, **

**ah my love, ah my own, **

**in me all that fire is repeated, **

**in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, **

**my love feeds on your love, beloved, **

**and as long as you live it will be in your arms **

**without leaving mine. **

________________________________________________________________________

Everything around her went quiet and darkness surrounded her. There was nothing but emptiness and only the quiet whispering of familiar voices, telling her stories of a lifetime. A lifetime she knew so well but forgot about, drowning the sound of a male voice that was calling her name from far far away. Every now and then blurry pictures passed her eyes like in an old movie. Some in slow motion, others barely noticeable by the pace they passed.

"You could really have been a lil' bit nicer to her, she's been out for 20 minutes now. Do ya always have to manhandle her?" Sawyer asked Kate a little aggressive looking down to Juliet that lay on the ground, himself kneeling over her brushing a few strands of hair out of her face, that had fallen out of her loose bun.

Kate gazed to the ground. "I...I´m sorry. "

"She told me 'bout the shoulder thing, ya know." Sawyer added and Kate didn't even dare to look him in the eyes, she still felt guilty for that day in the jungle. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay, Freckles." He broke her off and Kate gazed at Sawyer that lovingly stroked Juliet's cheek and then kissed her temple. A hint of jealousy got up within her. She didn't know if it was Sawyer or if she just liked the idea of being in a relationship like Sawyer and Juliet had. Had?

Jack never noticed Kate glancing over to him right that moment, he only had eyes for the jungle. Watching it anxiously.

Juliet then stirred and let out a sigh. "Mhm...James!" she mumbled and Sawyer immediately squeezed her hand softly to let her know that he was there, he was by her side. "You hear me, Juliet?" he asked and she squinted a few times, the daylight burning in her eyes.

She backed away slightly as she saw those familiar eyes glancing down at her. "James!" Juliet sat up and then looked right into Kate's green eyes. "You. It was you right?" she then asked more rhetorically and Kate gave her a compassionate stare. "Sorry, Juliet." There was something about that woman, Kate. Anger rose inside of the blonde doctor, she just didn't know why, but when she looked back at Sawyer she could tell there was a damn good reason for her to be angry. What ever it was, she knew there was a connection between them and suddenly sadness overcame her. A deep sadness she had never felt before. Or at least she forgot about.

"_I changed my mind when I saw you look at her." _

Juliet's head was aching, whether it came from memories coming back or the wound she could sense on the back of her head she didn't care cause everything around her began spinning and the next second she puked into a near by bush while Sawyer held up her long blond hair that had completely fallen out of it's bun, in an instant. Juliet coughed a few times wiping her mouth with her arm. Kate made a disgusted face and even Jack had been woken up from his day dream.

"You okay, Sunshine?" Sawyer asked worriedly getting nothing but that blank stare. "Why did you bring me here?" No Answer.

"I should better check on this, maybe you got a slight concussion." Jack kneeled down to her checking on her eyes. She had a glassy gaze and she looked very pale and weak, but when he touched her she slapped his hand away. "Don't. Don't. Don't touch me." Juliet almost squealed as she felt his big warm surgeon hands on her forehead. Sure it was a good feeling, but at the moment she trusted nobody of them. Not even him. "I just wanna help you, Juliet." Jack assured her and Juliet frowned. "Yeah? Like you wanted to help me as you held that broken piece of plate against my throat? "She hissed. Everybody was looking confused at Jack now.

"You did WHAT?" Sawyer clenched his fists and wanted to punch the soul out of that Jackass, but Kate held him back by pulling him close to her, pressing him tightly against her side, squeezing even harder when he tried to fight against it.

"I...I didn't do that, Juliet. At least not this time. You only remember me doing it, cause I did once. And that's been a looong time ago."

"What are you talking about, Jack?" Juliet asked confused, she remembered him almost trying to kill her like it had happened just yesterday.

"Ya know I should've killed ya back in the 70's. You deserve it. First you're using her for your own good, just to make Kate jealous and you knew she had feelings for you. You broke her heart. You promised her to get her off the island but ya never came back for her, then you destroyed our life we had and now I hear you sittin on this!? Son of a bitch. Ya just a heartless asshole, nothin' more. An' you're called a leader, a hero, a fuckin' life-saver but in my eyes ya nothin' but a pathetic little piece of shit." Sawyer growled out.

Juliet didn't understand a word of what they were fighting about right now but she felt the sudden urge to gaze to the ground as Jack glanced over to her.

"I apologised." Jack whispered. He wasn't aware of the fact that Juliet used to love him that much. Or maybe she just loved the idea of him. Him the leader, the hero the kind of man all looked up to, but he himself knew now that all of it was just a big fat lie. He was nothing of it. He had changed a lot and so did everyone else. Now Sawyer had grown to be the leader type, getting all under control, having an intelligent, wonderful woman at his side that had his back. Jack began to hate himself. What did he do wrong to deserve all this? Seemed like his time to shine was over.

"No, you did not. You left me, but I don't care anymore." Juliet mumbled to herself, getting all the attention. Where did that come from right now?

"Huh? What did ya just say?" Sawyer asked getting closer to her. Juliet wasn't so sure it was her talking the other second so she shook her head in confusion. "Never mind. So would please somebody tell me what's going on now?"

"No can do, Sunshine." Sawyer said with a smirk

"Why not?"

"Cause we need ya first to find Alex for us. She's got a boat somewhere."

"For what need?"

"To leave that part of the island and get back to the other one." Kate explained rolling her eyes up and down like she always used to.

"Why would I…." Juliet began but then Kate broke her off. "Juliet please. I just wanna go home." Kate begged the blond woman that frowned at her. Thinking.

"Please, cause if you don't help us now we will never going to get off of this hell of island. And I owe you;_ we _owe you to get you off the island too."

Kate had a point.

There was nothing Juliet desired more than finally goin' home. And after a second Juliet glanced over to Jack. "And who's gonna assure me that you wont leave me here?"

"I will. Trust me." Said the conman and Juliet almost smirked. "Yeah, can I?"

"You're not gonna regret it. Give's a shot." Sawyer smiled as Juliet raised an eyebrow up at him.

"Okay." A slight suspicion in her voice. "I'll bring you to Alex. _But_, I want answers!"

Sawyer nodded. "What ever ya wanna know, sweetheart." He smiled his dimples coming out slightly and Juliet melted away, although she had no idea why she found that guy so extremely attractive when he was generally known as the biggest ass ever.

___________________________________________________________________________

Juliet found Alex and they followed her to a bay where she hid a boat. They had lost so much time while getting Alex's boyfriend that it was almost impossible that nobody had seen them while they were running.

"C'mon, hurry up. Get in the boat. "Alex yelled actually concerned that they would make it back to the other island, because Pickett was already on his way. Coming for Sawyer to finally slit his throat open. They were lucky to have a little advance.

First Kate got in, then Jack and Sawyer that helped to put in Carl safely. The kid was weak and had vomited all over the way to the beach. Now Alex wanted to get in, but Juliet held her back.

"Not you Alex."

"But, Carl… ."

"I said, NO. If your father…. ."

"Then what? What is he going to do, Juliet?"

"He's gonna lock you up forever or maybe he's going to kill Carl. Do you want him to kill your boyfriend?" Alex got pretty quiet now; she looked to her shoes and then shook her head.

"I´m sorry, Alexandra."

"But you can't go either, Juliet. Because if he finds out that you…."

"I know." Sawyer looked over to them immediately. "I can't go." She mumbled to herself almost not able to be heard but Sawyer knew exactly what she'd said. He could tell by her eyes. "No, no, no. You're comin' with us." He shouted over to her, frightened she could just let him down. "What? Does she wanna stay?" Kate and Jack asked simultaneously. Sawyer hopped out of the boat. "I can't just go. … Rachel." Then Juliet paused never intending to get that name over her lips. "James…." she stopped again freezing as a shot fell and than there was a splashing. Kate squealed. Everything went so fast and before they could say knife Jack had slipped into the water, floating in his own big puddle of blood. The next second Kate was in the water and screamed, crying now desperately when she helped herself to get Jack back into the boat. Sawyer just watched sheer shocked and Juliet shouted Jacks name, all running in slow motion now. Another shot fell but this time the other man, the attacker fell to the ground. Sawyer and Juliet turned their heads and there was Alex holding onto a gun with shaky hands. She let it fall and then she ran, disappearing into the jungle.

"JULIET! Get in the boat!" Sawyer shouted over to the baffled woman. "I...I can't." she whispered with a frown. "Juliet please … please don't leave me again. _I_ can't leave you again." His voice drowning in the end. For a second Juliet stood completely still. "What?" She held her head.

"SAWYER, HURRY UP!" Kate yelled desperately. "I...I don't know what to do." Suddenly Sawyer grabbed Juliet by her wrist and pulled her roughly into the boat, pushing it further into the water. "I promised to bring ya back 'n' I will, Blondie."

The boat began floating slowly and the air was still filled with the ear piercing sound of Kate's screams and the gun shots, when Sawyer began paddling.

When Jack got back to reality they were all kneeling over him glancing at him with concern looks. Pickett had just caught his shoulder. Luckily Juliet had taken care of it immediately even though she wasn't a surgeon. And she had Sawyer that used to pull a bullet out of his shoulder himself. Juliet had ripped Sawyers shirt into two pieces and had used them to stop the bleeding so Jack was steady now but he had to eat something soon to get his blood sugar back on track. That's all she was thinking about. And than those pictures, memories of a previous operation got on her mind.

They were still shipping back to the other island and the sun had already begun to set. As if she sank into the water inch by inch dipping the sky into a warm orange and pink. As unique as every other sunset that had passed. But it wasn't the right time to enjoy that scenario under those circumstances even though everybody was pretty relieved to see Jack conscious. And you could almost hear Kate letting out a long breath she had forgot to take since she thought Jack was going to die.

"I´m so glad you're okay. I thought you were dead." Kate breathed stroking Jacks cheek sweetly, both of her hands on his face. Ouch. Jack winced as he moved and pushed himself into a sitting position. "Well, that's what I thought for a second either." He said with a frown, his voice barely over a whisper.

Juliet cowered at the end of the boat, hugging herself, looking back sighing and then watching the waves crashing at the boat. She felt guilty. Guilty for leaving, cause now she had betrayed Ben "the others" she had risked her sister's life. Because Ben would always take what she loved the most and didn't she love her sister most? She had killed a woman today. Okay not exactly. But that woman died and still Colleen's blood stuck to her hands.

Her white lap coat was now smeared with even Jacks blood. Oh how dirty she felt right that moment.

"You okay? " Sawyer asked after a while not longer able to watch the way Kate fawns over Jack. Like a sick lovebird, although he was one either when it came to Juliet. Right?

"Hm? Oh yeah. I guess." Juliet mumbled now glancing back at him, rubbing her arms.

"You cold?"

"A little. Can I ask you something?" she asked blinking over to Jack, locking eyes with him for a while and smiling softly when he gave her a thankful nod. Sawyer followed her gaze and raised an eyebrow before sceptically replying to her question. "Shoot!"

"You said something earlier, I´m still thinking about."

"'n what's that?"

"That you don't wanna lose me again…. ." Sawyer was silent for a moment and then sighed. "I guess it's time for fillin' you in then, huh?" Kate glanced over to them and gave them a weak smile, nodding in agreement. "Maybe she'll understand." She said softly and Sawyer both watched the confused face Juliet made, before they finally filled her in about everything…. .

**So, this is it for now. Hope you liked it. I´m working on the next one already. I promise it'll include some more Suliet fluff. Remember reviews are love! :o) **


	13. Chapter 13

Hey you guys...sorry I haven't been updating for sooooo long. I know it's been quiet annoying for some of you I guess. I´m sorry to tell you that I must quit writing on this fic. ...Let me explain it to you in a few lines. My best friend and colleague was murdered this year and I´m devastated ...so I just I don't know ..I have no idea how to go on like that and I seriously need some time to get things alright again. So I will just make that special offer once ...if you got a good idea and like to go on with that story you can take it over if you like to and make it something beautiful I guess cause I can't I´m sure of that ...my muse left me :'( ...Just sent me a personal message when you´re intressted.

Hugs you guys and thank you for your time I must have wasted now ...sorry

xoxo Elly


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